Here we go… AGAIN

Let me tell you, I’ve had my fair share of unfortunate CARma. Yes, karma involving my cars. First there was the Mercury Sable in the late 90s that would stall every time you took a left so you would have to throw the car into neutral after picking up enough speed and then start the car as you rolled through the intersection and accelerate after completing the turn. Then there was the Plymouth Breeze in the early aughts that, one day after a good run, just died on New Year’s Eve. The next day, I sold it for $100 so that I didn’t have to look at it anymore and it would be out of my driveway. Happy new year to me. Then there was the Nissan Altima that was surprisingly great… but soon after getting it, I was making a very slow turn on ice and I just slid into an ice bank and it ripped off my front bumper, but only halfway, so my dad helped me “fix” it. Zip ties do wonders. That car’s gas line also decided to freeze one icy morning… so fun. Then I moved to New York. ENOUGH WITH THE CARS! And that was fine, until I ultimately decided to move to Los Angeles, by way of San Francisco. At first, I thought I would do LA without a car, but then in 2020 I buckled under the pressure of Hollywood dreams, and bought a 2017 Chevrolet Cruze. It was small. It was cute. It worked great. BUT then, in a pandemic-induced haze and fit of delirium while sitting on my lonely couch one night, I decided to peruse one of those phone apps that allows you to buy a car from the comfort of your own home and have it delivered to you within days. And they even take away your old car! Sweet. So, I decided on a small Chevrolet SUV, consented to an interest rate that was far too high, and a monthly payment that was equally troubling. After driving said SUV for just over a year, I found myself in a downpour and flooding conditions in San Diego for a work event. Flooded intersections come out of nowhere and just because other cars are driving through doesn’t mean you should (you’ve been warned). After making it through the flooded intersection, almost, I removed my foot from the gas pedal with a sigh of relief. Little did I know that a simple action like that executed too soon before emerging from the tiny lake would be the death knell of my beloved couch impulse buy. And so, the SUV stalled, the lights flickered, and then… it died. Right there in the lake. I opened my door, stepped out into ankle height water, looked back at the knee-deep pond, “fuck.” People were so nice as the rain continued to descend, and I was pulled out of the puddle. My car wouldn’t start, my body started to shiver, and I awaited roadside assistance. I only had basic AAA coverage, so I was good for a tow of up to 25 miles, however, I was 25x4 miles away from home. That would not do. Luckily, my past self was genius when buying insurance for the car and added roadside assistance to the plan (something I will forever do to this day). I called my insurance and they told me they would send a tow truck. “What is the limit on distance?” The person on the other end of the phone said there wasn’t one. And finally, I received some good news that day. They towed my car back to LA; it was a Sunday so I just said, “leave it a the dealership,” and I called them the next day. After they assessed the damage and the insurance adjuster looked at it, it was confirmed that the car was not salvageable. Totaled, as they say. Once again, I was car-less in a car-centric town. I was going out of town for a few months for work to a city that didn’t as heavily require a car, so I decided to walk and use other forms of transportation as needed: public, ride-share, electric mopeds. As my time in that city came to a close, I decided it was time to look into getting another car so that I could drive back to LA and be ready to make my rounds and get to and from work, as needed. And so, a Mini Cooper Clubman was soon in my possession and I drove it for a year and a half with little issue— an occasional glitch, sure, but then a new thermostat… and then new tires. It was starting to add up.

That Mini Cooper is the car I decided to drive across the country to spend some time in my hometown, and it got me there. Well, here. Since I am writing to you from that location. BUT THEN, soon after I arrived, things started to happen. A check engine light, oil burning, etc. I took it in to get looked at, and it was diagnosed with a disorder that could go out at any time— “tomorrow, in a year, or multiple years”— and suddenly, I was faced with being thousands of miles from home, a car that could give out at any time or NEVER (but we know that it will eventually), and a decision of how to get back to my home in LA and/or to have a car or not. Let’s face it; I’m getting older and I was not ready to be car-less again, so I took swift action, started looking at new (used) cars, and was hoping to trade in the Mini… BUT the fates banks had other ideas. Because the car was newer (to me) and because I am not someone in a financial situation to outright buy a car (check out my merch), I still owed too much on the car to trade it in and have it be worthwhile. The hilarious part about living in “America” is that it was ultimately cheaper in the immediate future to buy a second car than to flip the loan I already had on its head and have just one car. Now the Mini Cooper is parked at my parent’s house, still insured, still owned by the bank until I complete those payments, and the Land Rover Range Rover Evoque that looks far more expensive than I paid for it is also an added expense to my monthly roster of financial obligations. I feel lucky to have gotten a good deal on a single owner used car with low miles, and I am also hopeful that the fortunate CARma that fell in my lap with that find with turn out to be the end of the negative equity that seemed to plague me in the past. Here’s to hoping! And in the mean time, feel free to use that donate button in the upper right corner? Or buy some merch. XOXO nay